Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
