We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he just fucked me for my cheese.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
