theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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