i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
