Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
3 2 1 whiskey
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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