i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm getting married
To pizza
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
