I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
