I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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