Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize