Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
