which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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