Apparently you make a good broom.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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