Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
