Betty ford says i'm here all night
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
