What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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