I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
