D3 body, D1 cock
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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