do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
