I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
