hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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