So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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