He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
