Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
