Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
