small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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