Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
