we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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