i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
