Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
