So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
