im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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