when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
