wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
