I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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