I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
