I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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