So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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