I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
