No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize