so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
