meet me or not, i'm out of control
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
