susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
