I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
