do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
