Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I need a beard to bite.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
