I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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