Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
