she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize