What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
