so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize