Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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