just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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