Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
