oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
