are you so shy because you have an std?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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