The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
