K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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