i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
