YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
