she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
