if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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